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Life Lately Posts

6.14.21

I’m writing this post the night before my 27th birthday, and judging by my over-enthused images above from this past weekend, I’m definitely not the girl who hates her birthday… 😊

What can I say, I’ll take any excuse for a celebration, to drink with my girlfriends, or to throw together a tablescape, and my own birthday is just that. Though 27 is a pretty insignificant number that doesn’t have any real milestones attached to it, I have a feeling that it’s going to be an important year of growth and faith.

I didn’t mention this when it was going on (and maybe I should have), but in the month or so leading up to my birthday I was feeling really down on myself and not at all confident or even comfortable in my own skin. Of course we all feel the ups and downs of self-confidence, but it felt like I was in a fog that I couldn’t quite shake or talk myself out of. In hindsight I think that comparison and social media were at the root of it– which sounds silly and surface-level, and I recognize that it is, but it’s also at the core of my profession and so there’s no quite escaping it.

Anyways, it took a lot of hyping myself up, literally saying affirmations out loud, and changing up my routine a bit (I started reading the Bible every day and I got control of what I was eating and nourishing myself with– ok, with the exception of this past weekend 😊). I also kind of allowed myself to feel down, but at the same time knowing that it would pass, and that the most beautiful part of life is that something amazing and wonderful can happen within one instant, and it can turn your whole day, or month, or year, around.

I promise this post has a happier ending than I’m letting on, but I’m sharing this to admit that though I try really hard to be uplifting and a positive outlet for you all, it’s not always peonies and funfetti cake over here, and I go through serious periods of self-doubt, awkwardness, and caring way too much about things that don’t even matter.

I’m happy to report that I’ve been pulling myself out of that Sad Fog, and am working day by day to figure out how I can be the brightest version of myself, and stay creative in my career, but more importantly, rooted in my faith and relationships. I realized that I was seeking happiness in frivolous places, and would wind up constantly disappointed, when I really should have been looking for my happiness and confidence in God, who is all-encompassing and far surpasses even my wildest expectations– with no room for disappointment or self pity.

I don’t mean to get all religious on you, but year after year, that’s been the one common denominator that makes each birthday sweeter than the last. The fact that there’s someone who has already planned out my life, and knew that when I was 17-years-old (talk about looking for confidence), a decade later I would be working for myself in my ultimate dream job, living in New York City, and dating the love of my life. What incredible things a mere decade can bring!!

It wasn’t (isn’t) always easy, but my unquestionable belief in my faith and myself have made it all a reality (and not to mention the incredible group of people that surround me, as well as you all!!). With a renewed inner confidence going into 27, I can honestly say that I’m the happiest I’ve ever been, though I know that the best days of my life haven’t even happened yet. How wild is that?!

Cheers to lucky number 27!!! xx

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