Johnny and I recently announced that we are expecting our first baby this October, which we had been praying over since we got married. When I shared a question box on Instagram recently about our pregnancy, most of the questions were about our conception journey and what that looked like. I wasn’t surprised by this, since I myself found that there was so little information and stories shared about other people’s conception experiences. And I get that– it’s such a deeply personal and honestly a crazy thing to go through.

But here I am with the ability to share my experience and findings, and I feel called to do so even though it’s scary and I’m sure people will have varying opinions on what I write below. So I wanted to walk through what helped us, and what I learned along the way, in the hopes that it might help one, or a few of you. Every baby is such a miracle, and each person’s road to their baby is so special and uniquely their own, but here are a few things that worked in our case.

Also, this should go without saying, but since this is such a sensitive topic I’ll say it anyways: this is purely my personal experience. Please make decisions only after consulting with your doctor or OBGYN, and think about what’s best for your specific body, circumstances, health factors, etc. Just because these things worked for me absolutely does not mean they can work for everyone else, but my hopes in sharing them are that they spark something that you maybe haven’t thought of before (I knew none of this a year ago!) and can lead you down your own path of education to figure out what will work best for you.

My History With The Birth Control Pill & Anxiety

Wow, what a title for a blog post heading 😂. But this is important context: I decided to go off of the birth control pill when we were thinking about trying to get pregnant in early 2024. I had been on the same low estrogen birth control pill since high school, and rarely got a period on it. If I did it was every few months and only for two-three days. It “worked” for me in that sense because I didn’t have to deal with getting my period, but looking back I realized that I started getting severe anxiety at the same time I started on the birth control pill in high school (*insert major red flags!!!*). The fact that I never connected those two things, until now, leaves me with so much regret. My anxiety has always been very physical for me– chest pain, arm numbing, extreme night sweats, and the development of TMJ from grinding and clenching my jaw so much.

I’ve mitigated my anxiety through a number of ways over the years– whether with ashwagandha (highly recommend LifeSeasons!), CBD (big fan of Equilibria), my Christian life coach (couldn’t do life without Alexandra), and finally anti-depression and anxiety medication in the form of Lexapro and Bupropion. Let me be clear: I am all for taking medication when necessary– for many years Lexapro literally changed my life for the better. I also credit it to me allowing me to actually enjoy my wedding planning process and wedding day (bless it). But at the same time I knew deep down that something still felt “off” and I shouldn’t be sweating through my sheets down to my mattress or getting a whole new round of treatments for my TMJ, over a decade after I had first developed it.

Getting Off Of Birth Control & Lexapro

So when we were thinking about getting pregnant I also asked my then OBGYN how she felt about me staying on Lexapro and Bupropion while trying to conceive and (hopefully) becoming pregnant. She gave me the pros/cons (I’d consult your doctor because it’s very situational to your specific circumstances– and I actually received opposite advice from another OBGYN after I got a second opinion). But I ultimately decided to just try to see what it was like not being on any medication. I also want to mention that this is something you should absolutely do under the supervision of your physician. And it is not something you should stop cold turkey (it can be very dangerous to do that).

So under the oversight of my doctors, I weaned off of both Lexapro and Bupropion, and also the birth control pill. Doing so was honestly the hardest (physical) part of my entire trying to conceive process. Which is crazy to think about– I never imagined that detoxing my body from those medications (though I had been on them for years), would be so taxing on me. I went through weeks of dizziness, nausea, extreme fatigue, and turbulent emotions. It was way worse than anything I experienced in my first trimester of pregnancy. I wish I had been aware of how the withdrawal process could effect me when my doctors prescribed the birth control pill and SSRIs to me years prior.

Thoughts Being Medication-Free

I ended up getting through the detox period and coming out on the other side taking no birth control pill or anxiety medication. And guess what happened? My daily anxiety went from being a 9/10 bad (what I’ve felt since high school) to a mere 1/10. You read that correctly: my anxiety pretty much dissipated after going off of the birth control pill and my anti-depressant medication– which is the opposite of what I thought would happen. I actually literally still cannot believe it.

I am still working through exactly why/how this is, but cannot help but point blame at the birth control pill, for stifling my hormones (at such a young age no less!) and creating such an unbalance in my body that somehow translated into physical anxiety. I am all ears to anyone who has more knowledge around this. This book shares some more research/education on the topic if you’re interested. In it, the author, Sarah Hill, describes how the pill affects neurotransmitters like serotonin and dopamine, which are crucial to regulating our mood. Therefore, some women can experience anxiety or depression while on the pill. How did I never put this together??

I’m by no means anti-pill or anti-hormonal birth control now (there are SO many benefits to them and they’ve truly changed our options as women in society for the better!), I just wish I had educated myself more about it all. I also can’t speak to how the IUD would have affected me, since I never had one. But I wonder how the hormonal IUD would be any different? I admittedly have not done the research there because that was not my particular situation. But the more I look into the birth control pill now, the more I see evidence for the link between it and my struggle with anxiety for the past decade plus.

A few photos for levity haha — the Hill House onesie I bought when I was manifesting this baby, our favorite pregnancy book we’ve read so far, and me as a little girl looking all kinds of fab?!

Recovering My Period Post-Birth Control Pill

So a few months into this process I had weaned off of of my medication, got into a really healthy mindset, started taking prenatals, and was ready to make a baby. Right?! Wrong 😂 Though I was feeling so great mentally and physically, I still had not gotten my period after going off of the birth control pill. Besides detoxing from my medication, this was the biggest hurdle I faced in the conception process, and one that I did not expect at all. It ended up taking me about nine months to regain my period, which you actually need to ovulate and conceive (biology!).

During this time, I was very proactive in trying to figure out how to “recover” my period and get my body ovulating. I did a lot of research, consulted a number of doctors, and did the below combination of things to eventually get my period back. I’m going to list everything out, so you can see what worked (and what didn’t work) for me, in case any of these spark an idea that may help you, if you ever find yourself trying to get your period back.

You have to laugh– for so many years I didn’t want to be bothered with a period, which shows my lack of education about what a vital function in plays in my body. And then all of a sudden getting my period back was literally the most important thing to me because it meant I could try to conceive then– isn’t life funny?

What I did to recover my period & thus get pregnant:

• Did two rounds of progesterone pills from my OBGYN to try to “trigger” my period (I just had withdrawal bleeds from those rounds and not true menstrual cycles that included ovulation)
• Switched from my former OBGYN to a Reproductive Endocrinologist who specializes in fertility cases (email me and I’m happy to recommend her. She’s on the UES and was phenomenal)
• Completed a round of Clomid with her to make sure that I actually could ovulate (we confirmed that I could)
• Consistently tracked my cycle to see if I was ovulating (I tried a number of devices/tools for this, which I’ll list below)
• Slowed down my workouts and cut out all cardio so I could gain some weight (This account, @food.freedom.fertility, was responsible for educating me about that! I had an intro call with Lindsey and she was unbelievably helpful. Reach out to her if you are interested in learning more about period recovery)
• Adjusted my diet to include more whole foods and leafy vegetables– I switched out all almond milk products to whole milk products, ate more meat/animal protein/healthy fats/bone broth, and stopped intermittent fasting and doing juice cleanses (I used this book as my guide!)
• Some people completely cut out all caffeine and alcohol– I did not lol. But during the weeks that I was ovulating I did not have any caffeine or hard alcohol (meaning no martinis, just wine) and that worked for me
• Started taking these Conception Support prenatal vitamins, along with this Fertility+ Support supplement (supports egg health and ovarian function) and this Hormonal Balance Support supplement (promotes healthy ovulation and regular menstrual cycles)
• Read this book (the first section of the book focuses on conception), which has become our favorite pregnancy book yet. It’s written by Emily Oster, an award-winning Economist who takes the time/research to comb through many studies and trials to get to the heart of the data on all topics of conception to birth to parenting. We LOVE her because she sorts through the wives tales and actually has a lot of surprising findings on commonly believed ideas surrounding pregnancy. Johnny and I are also huge readers of her website, parentdata.com.
• I should also note that the week we conceived I was taking Mucinex every day and keeping my feet warm (with fuzzy socks and by putting them in the bath tub!). As much as I reference data-based research here, those are two wives tale type things I did the week we conceived 😂

Also, let the history show that I asked my former OBGYN (the one I have seen for the past decade) on multiple occasions throughout the years if it was okay that I was taking the birth control pill for over a decade, if I would be able to get pregnant easily after going off of it, and whether my night sweats could be related to my hormones… and she reassured me that all was fine and I should stay on the birth control pill and would get my period immediately after stopping it.

Tracking Ovulation

Once I finally did get my period back on a regular cycle, I was able to track when I ovulated each month and see patterns forming there. My cycle was still on the longer side (about 37-40 days), but I could pinpoint a strong LH spike around day 25, which to me felt like such a miracle and shining light of hope! If you’re reading this like “what is an LH spike?!” I was the same way before I went on this fun little adventure lol. I’d recommend reading this article, which shares a clear overview of the LH surge and timing ovulation accordingly. And if you’re still confused, then read the “What are the four phases of the menstrual cycle?” section of this article. Side note– I think that Sex Ed should be taught in high school and college. Maybe it’s me, but I truly remembered none of this from high school!!

I tried a number of ovulation tracking “devices” while trying to figure out if I was ovulating and when my LH peak was each month, and will share a mini review of each below. Ultimately, the Easy@Home Ovulation Predictor Kit strips, which I took photos of and uploaded to the Premom app, worked the best to pinpoint when I was going to ovulate each month (here’s a good how-to guide that explains how to use them). This article (scroll down halfway) shares some good advice on when to have sex when you’re ovulating and what your chances of getting pregnant are on each day (again, I knew none of this!). The ttc Facebook groups I joined call having sex “baby dancing” which I really got a kick out of 😂.

My mini reviews of these ovulation predictor tools:

• Inito Fertility Monitor: I tried this out first because it supposedly identifies and confirms ovulation by showing your rise in progesterone in you urine after you ovulate (which is a key indicator that you successfully ovulated). Pro: It found it helpful because for months I wasn’t seeing a rise in progesterone after I had supposedly ovulated, so I knew my cycle was off and I wasn’t really ovulating. Con: I had to attach it to my phone each morning and it took about ten minutes to detect, in which I couldn’t move or use my phone and had to take my case on and off. Not a huge deal but it got annoying. (I actually believe that the Mira does the same thing but takes less time to process each strip)
• Kegg Fertility Tracker: I had read more and more about tracking cervical fluid to pinpoint ovulation, which I was curious about since it’s a different method from peeing on something lol. Pro: This was easy and quick enough to use and allowed me to confirm the ovulation timing I was seeing on my ovulation predictor kit strips (which I discuss below). Con: You need to be okay with inserting it like a tampon each day you want to track, but that’s it!
• Easy@Home Ovulation Predictor Kit Strips: I would say that this is the most “old school” and least technological way of tracking and pinpointing ovulation. You simply use the strips to test your urine and then upload them to the Premom app (see their how-to guide here!) to see when your LH spike occurs. Pro: It’s easy to see when the test line is darkest on the OPK and determine patterns in which day you ovulate month after month. Con: It doesn’t show your rise in progesterone, so there’s a possibility (like in my case originally) that you could actually not be ovulating. If you have a regular period each month and there’s no reason you should have trouble ovulating, I’d start with these and upload them to the Premom app!

Getting Pregnant!

It only took us a few months to conceive once I regained my period and could pinpoint my LH spike to know when to “baby dance.” But like I mentioned earlier on in this post, the more difficult parts for me were detoxing my body of the medication I had been taking, and then trying to recover my menstrual cycle so I could ovulate. I guess you never can predict which parts of this experience will be easier or harder for you. I know people who get off of the birth control pill and get pregnant literally the next month, and I know others who have the most regular, consistent periods and are unable to conceive for a multitude of reasons. Again, it’s such a personal experience that’s based on your body, so you really just have to give it up to God and do your best to hang in there with whatever is thrown your way. It can be hard (much, much harder than anything I’ve described here), and women are truly so remarkable and so very strong. 💗

Advice If You’re Starting the TTC Journey

I still feel like I’m so new to this whole world and am not equipped to give any profound advice. But, I’ll share some tips that other people gave me, and little snippets that helped me along the way. If you’re thinking about getting pregnant, in the midst of trying to conceive, newly pregnant, or a seasoned mama, my outmost respect and love is with you. I said this in my pregnancy announcement blog post, but I have full faith that miracle babies, and miracle families (no matter what they look like or how they’re formed), are on the horizon for everyone who is in the thick of it right now.

Snippets of advice I received:

• Start taking a prenatal whenever you’re thinking about trying to conceive– it can be as early as six months before! And get your mans on one too (Johnny took this and I took this)
• If you want to, have your genetic testing done with your partner at your OB to see if you’re the same carrier for anything. This can be good to know before going into it.
• Along those same lines, if you’re thinking about having children at all (even if it’s years away), ask your OB to test your AMH levels. This will tell you your ovarian reserve and how many eggs you have, which is a good indicator (though not the only one) of how easy it will be for you to get pregnant. I’ve had friends do this and it’s been life-altering information for them to have and led some of them to freeze their eggs, do fertility treatments, or start trying to conceive earlier or later than they had planned. Information is power!
• Manifest!!! I bought a baby onesie from Hill House (because I have the matching dress) way before we were even close to conceiving. It gave me something to look at and imagine a future baby in. I also said “I will get pregnant this year and have a healthy baby” out loud in the mirror each morning. I know that sounds woo woo but don’t knock it until you try it. I’ve done this with a number of goals/dreams and every single one of them has become a reality. Look yourself in the mirror and say it like you mean it (don’t make fun of me until you try it!!)
• Give it up to God. The hardest yet most important part of all. I know so many women, myself included, who are type A recovering-perfectionists who love nothing more than coming up with and sticking to a plan and a timeline. Conceiving a baby is one of the most important things you’ll ever do… that’s also completely out of your control. There were months that I thought I couldn’t be further away from getting pregnant because I wasn’t even getting my period, but I tried to hold onto faith the best I could and remember that God already knows the birthdates, names, and life stories of all of my babies. How sweet is that to reflect on? And that gave me hope.

In the end, I went from not even having my period or ovulating to getting pregnant in under a year. I realize how lucky that is and also how quickly the biology of your body can change. I find so much hope in this fact! I’ve learned more than I’ve ever thought I would through this process so far, but know that it’s literally just beginning. Let me know what pregnancy topic you’d like me to cover next, because clearly I have a lot to say about it all. 😂.

I also think it’s important to note that I use the word “journey” very loosely in this post– as our story to this baby was really not that long or strenuous in the scheme of things. I never want to downplay the much longer and more difficult experience that so many people have. Trying to conceive and carry a baby is one of the most sensitive, difficult subjects, so please know that my heart is in the right place when I discuss it. 💗

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