Molly’s Birth Story
Sharing, in detail, the story of our sweet Molly's birth!
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Here’s the story of how our sweet Molly McNitt was born! It’s taken me six weeks to wrap my ahead around it and sit down to write it all out in detail. I actually wrote an abbreviated version of the below immediately after her birth, because I wanted to make sure it was fresh in my mind and reflected my feelings as accurately as possible. It was not at all what I planned or wanted for her birth, but strangely enough, in all the ways that mattered the most, I got exactly what I prayed for.
The Lead Up
I found out that I was 2 cm dilated and 50% effaced (which measures the “softening” of my cervix) at 36 weeks. I was so shocked to hear this and both my OB, and other people I told, thought that she’d be arriving before 40 weeks. As the weeks went on, I continued to be more dilated at each OB appointment I had. We ll thought for SURE that I’d have her a few weeks early, so I started shutting down my work obligations and getting ready.
Another factor here that really made me think that she was coming early was the pre-labor I experienced. I had Braxton-Hicks contractions, which increasingly got more painful, pretty much every day from 36 weeks on (and spoiler alert: I gave birth to Molly a month later at 40 weeks lol). The Braxton-Hicks felt like bad period cramps, but then got worse in weeks 38 and 39 and felt like I was going into true labor. I later learned that what I was experiencing was prodromal labor. Truly wouldn’t wish it on anyone– twice I thought that I was for sure going into labor. All throughout my pregnancy I was praying that we’d receive an obvious sign when I was actually going into labor, so we kept waiting and we didn’t go to the hospital during any of these early contractions. They also never got close enough together to count as true labor, and would go away if I got into a hot bath. I even took a few baths at 3 AM during those weeks because the contractions would wake me up and were so painful.
But, I carried on and spent the last two weeks of my pregnancy feeling like I was going crazy. I had cleared out the majority of my work then and didn’t have anything to do, and had too much pain in my pelvic floor to work out (working out had truly been my saving grace, besides prayer, during my pregnancy), so I was going NUTS. I was also experiencing extreme fatigue and nausea for the first time in my pregnancy. I was so fortunate to have had such an uneventful and lovely pregnancy experience up until then, so the last few weeks of misery really took me by surprise. I turned to prayer constantly in those two weeks– reading through this book again, watching this course (I have a code too– AMY2375 for 20% off), and doing my Christian hypnobirthing meditations to stay calmed and centered. We got to 39 weeks and I had the induction talk with my OB, which we scheduled for 40 weeks + 5 days if I didn’t have her by then. I prayed SO HARD that I’d go into labor naturally and receive an obvious sign that it was happening!
Labor
In true God fashion, He answered my prayer tenfold. I should have known! I look back now and can’t believe I ever doubted that He wouldn’t. Such is the grace of God for answering my prayer anyways.
My water broke at home (literally like in the movies!) a day before I was going to be 40 weeks. My contractions had gotten closer together and stronger all day, and I just kept laboring at home. Johnny was working from home because I really felt that real labor was close, and I was getting so excited when the contractions got more painful and closer together (that’s how badly I wanted to go into labor 😅). We tried to remain calm though so that evening we put on my favorite comfort movie (The Grinch) and ate my favorite dinner (Lou Malnati’s deep dish pizza).
It hit 10 pm and Johnny said he was going to try to get some sleep in case we went into the hospital night. I was having too many contractions to sleep so I stayed up in our living room and was just finishing reading a prayer about going into labor when I had a contraction and felt something release from me (idk how else to describe it 😂). I then realized that my mucus plug had come out (TMI, sorry) so I got up to tell Johnny, who had been in bed for literally all of one minute. As I was walking to the bedroom, and he was walking out to check in me (I guess I had screamed and gotten him up right before that?!), I felt a release and a rush of water and looked down and a literal gallon of water was coming out of me. We both stopped and stared, absolutely speechless, as it made a pool of water on the floor.
I knew that the chances of having your water break on its own (as a first time mom!) were slim, so I couldn’t believe it. But then again, it was the most obvious sign God could literally ever send us. We remained calm but jumped into action after that– Johnny called the hospital and they told us to most definitely come in now, and I tried to clean up and got the remainder of our hospital things together– in between contractions which had gotten more painful. I started using this labor comb then, which was the best natural pain-reliever besides my breathing.
Our bags had already been packed (for weeks 😅) so we called an Uber and made haste. Side note– I had previously told Johnny that I would *only* be taking an Uber Black to the hospital lol, and the smart man had remembered. The driver couldn’t have been kinder, and I had my headphones on and was breathing through contractions. Johnny had also taken my phone at this point– since it would spike my cortisol to keep looking at it and answering texts. The key was to remain as relaxed as I could be to make the contractions as bearable as possible. But I had shot of a text to some of my best friends beforehand, letting them know and asking for prayers.
We arrived at the hospital and I leaked amniotic fluid all over the lobby– I needed to be wearing an adult diaper for the amount of the fluid that was coming out of me, but I only had a pad on that was NOT doing a good enough job. We got to triage and they checked us in, and then I had to labor in the waiting room for about 30 minutes which was interesting… the other people in there (who were not in active labor) must have thought I was nuts. There was lots of deep breathing and some moaning as it got worse.
We got into a triage room to be checked out and they said that I was 5 cm dilated and 90% effaced. I was proud of myself for laboring at home all day, and that they confirmed that I’d be admitted and have the baby within 24 hours. We were so thrilled, but at the same time I was getting in increasingly more pain. I kept warding off the offers for an epidural though, so that I could stand and walk around, in hopes that would help her “drop” more so that hopefully we’d have less intervention in her birth (LOL, little did I know how it would actually turn out).
They kept swabbing my cervix to confirm that my water broke (I was like hello, I’m leaving a puddle everywhere I go), and I think that really made me tense. Up until that point, I didn’t know if I wanted to get an epidural because I truly had no idea what my pain tolerance would be (I’ve never broken a bone, had surgery, anything!). I was mid-deep breathing slash yelling when Johnny turned to me and kindly suggested that I get one. I knew it had to be my decision though. I had another brutal contraction and in all of one minute I decided that I needed an epidural NOW. I’ve never been so sure of a decision 😂. I remember telling the sweet, sweet angel of an anesthesiologist that my pain was an “11/10.”
Labor and Delivery
We were then admitted to the L&D room which felt like the Four Seasons compared to the triage room we had just been in (I’m sure that had nothing to do with the epidural I got in L&D 😉). My contractions were about a minute apart when I got the epidural, so it was a euphoric sense of pain relief. Side note– I am certainly not suggesting going medicated for birth though– I know the benefits of doing it unmedicated well, and went in fully educated about the downsides of epidurals too. Again, I’d recommend this book and this book if you’re pregnant. They cover the spiritual and data-based approaches to birth, both of which favor going unmedicated. However, this was the best decision, for me, in that moment. My body had been laboring for a month and my pain tolerance had hit its limit. 😅
After that, both Johnny and I fell asleep and they checked on me periodically throughout the night. I was progressively dilating and they told me I’d have this baby in the morning! I remember feeling so at peace, so grateful for the healthcare I was receiving, and so excited for God’s plan the next day.
I woke up to a beautiful sunrise, did my makeup (even in labor stay delusional, queens), and sipped some bone broth. I was told it was time to start pushing and we got to meet the OB on call who would be delivering her (he wasn’t my normal OB, but I felt an immediate connection with him– such a God-orchestrated detail).
I met my sweet nurses, who were so beyond incredible. There was one nurse who stayed with me the whole day (though it all), and we are truly bonded for life after that. I seriously have the most respect and love for L&D and Maternity nurses. I pushed for three hours in total and honestly loved the experience. We played my labor playlist, talked between contractions, and I felt great. Halfway through the pushing (about an hour and a half in), my OB gently told me that it didn’t look like her head was fitting under my pelvic bone (I’m sure that’s not the right medical terminology but that’s how I remember it being explained). He was super transparent and upfront and said that we may have to go to a C-Section. I immediately burst into tears when he told me that, but was still hopeful. He told me that I could push for another hour and a half, as long as the baby was in zero distress, and that we’d try every position possible to get her to budge. So we did.
Even though I had an epidural, I could still really move my limbs, which I was so grateful for. I could sit in a squatting position on the bed, get on all fours, etc. And we tried it all– using different shaped peanut balls, starting me on Pitocin to increase my contractions (which had slowed down), bringing in various nurses who knew unique positions for pushing, you name it. Molly didn’t budge, but she also wasn’t in any distress. Her heart rate never dropped and she was comfy, cozy (clearly 😅) as ever in there.
At the end of the three hours, with no progress in sight, our OB told us it was time to go to a C-Section. I was emotional but OK. I felt at peace with it and knew it was the right decision (again, thank you God for that mindset). I asked them if we could listen to the C-Section meditation track on my Christian Hypnobirthing app, and they said yes. Johnny suited up for surgery and they gave me a second epidural that was taking forever to kick in. There was a point where we thought I was going to have to go under general anesthesia for the C-Section, which I was adamant against not doing if we could help it, because I really wanted to be awake for her birth. The epidural ended up working, but not fully. I could feel the end of the surgery (not horrible pain, but still).
The surgery itself was rocky but beautiful. I was VERY shaky and nauseous– throwing up on the side of the table and uncontrollably shaking. I went in and out of being delirious, and think I prayed out loud for most of it. I do, however, clearly remember her birth. She cried right away, everyone in the room celebrated, and I said “thank you Jesus” over and over again. Johnny was right by my head and it was such a relief to have her out. I didn’t get the chance to do skin to skin with her because I was getting sick and too shaky, but I saw her and was so so overjoyed that she was perfect. She was born 7 lbs 10 oz at 3:21 PM, exactly on her due date. We found out that her head had been turned slightly to the side, making it impossible for her to fit through the birth canal for the vaginal delivery we had tried.
That’s when things took a turn– after they stitched up my incision, I started really bleeding from my uterus and the mood in the room shifted. I went in and out of consciousness but knew it was an emergency and that I was hemorrhaging. People were scrambling, nervous, and someone actually used the word “emergency” to me. I guess my uterus continued to have contractions after they had stitched me up, so I was losing a lot of blood and had to get a balloon (again, I don’t know what the exact medical term is) inserted into my uterus so it would stop hemorrhaging. Poor Johnny saw this all go down and then had to leave the operating room at this point, and spend a considerable amount of time walking the hospital halls with our new baby, not knowing if I was ok. He told me later that Molly didn’t make a peep the whole time. Again, she’s such an unproblematic queen (it’s me who caused all the issues!!).
Every time I gained some consciousness I remember praying, praying, praying. I was reunited with Johnny and Molly later, and was monitored for the next 12 hours before we could head to Maternity. This was the worst part of the whole experience. They basically had to make sure I wasn’t bleeding anymore (makes sense), but it entailed pressing and pushing on my incision every hour. I was drugged up, connected to machines from every limb I had, and in some shock. It was a strange dichotomy because I was overjoyed that Molly was there and perfect, but also did a lot of moaning and crying because I was in so much pain. I was able to hold her four hours after her birth, which was surreal, and the highlight of the entire day besides her birth.
My incredible family was waiting in the hospital lobby, but had to go home for the night because I was still being monitored. Around 4:30 AM Johnny, Molly, and I got cleared to be moved to our Maternity room, which was so peaceful and such a breath of fresh air compared to where I was being monitored. We got some sleep and my family was able to come back to the hospital the next morning, and meet our Molly (which you can see here!).
Recovery
We ended up staying five nights in the hospital, per the recommendation of the OB who delivered Molly, because of my healing and limited mobility. Because I had lost blood, I was really weak (even with the help of the blood transfusions I received), because of the C-Section incision I was extremely sore (that’s not even an accurate enough word for it haha), and because I had labored for so long at home, then pushed for so long, and then had the C-Section, my body was exhausted. The combination kicked my butt and left me pretty much immobile during our stay in the hospital. My family was there every day, and because I was still on paid meds for most of the stay, it wasn’t horrible. I actually have quite literally never laughed harder in some of the moments we had together. We were mainly focused on snuggles with Molly and my healing.
The weeks after that were much more difficult than I had anticipated. I was still very weak, in a lot of pain, and also super emotional. I could barely take care of myself (I couldn’t even shower standing up), let alone take care of Molly. That’s where Johnny, my parents, and my sister stepped in. Johnny was the sole parent for the first few weeks– all I could do was really hold Molly and express colostrum and then pump breastmilk. My mom stayed with us for the first full week and ran our entire household– grocery shopping, cooking all of our meals, doing all of our laundry, and being a full-time caretaker of Molly and me. I really don’t know how we would have done it without her. My dad stayed with us too for the first few days (then he had to go back to Maine to work), and Molly was so calm in his arms. He is the ultimate girl dad turned grandpa. And my sister was (and still is) the ultimate mini mama, making sure that Molly and I were always taken care of. Johnny’s parents and siblings also came and helped out in so many wonderful ways. We also had a night nurse who was truly a Godsend in allowing me to get sleep. Everyone dealt with a lot from me those first two weeks– lots of crying from my end and not knowing when I was going to feel normal (or at least ok). I am indebted to them for life. The two week mark, one month mark, and then six weeks mark have all been positive turning points for me in terms of healing and feeling more like myself. I’m here to say that it gets much, much better! My postpartum experience really deserves a separate post though.
Moral of the Story
Molly is ok! Johnny is ok! I am ok! I don’t take that for granted and am acutely aware that that’s not the case for so many other families whose stories are different. It could have been much, much worse, and looking back so much of our experience was covered in joy, euphoria, and peace. Two things can be true– you can not have your dream birth experience but it can still answer all of your prayers. I prayed so specifically to go into labor naturally and obviously (those are the exact words I used!) and look! It happened! My biggest prayer though, was to have a God-filled birth experience and a healthy baby and healthy me. That’s exactly what we got– Molly was perfectly healthy (thank you, Jesus) and though I had some pain, I am already feeling SO much better and will absolutely make a full recovery to be back to my normal self.
We received such incredible care from the hospital and our family and friends, and Johnny was also exceptional in being able to communicate for me and take care of her in her first few hours of life, even though he was terrified of how I was doing. We were always aligned on every decision that we made throughout the day (we had spoken about this at length during my pregnancy) and I felt so secure in knowing that he was capable of making the best choices for our family, when I couldn’t. There were times that I haven’t even mentioned where we had to speak up in the hospital because we wanted things done differently, and are thankful we did. But most of all, God was literally in every single detail of the day– from the people he sent to care for us to the prayers we spoke together. All in all, He led us to our dream girl. Molly is six weeks old and is already the greatest accomplishment of my life. We are so grateful!!!
